I found something I thought you guys might appreciate. Enjoy.

Editor's Note: One thing which abounds in the wiki world is funny articles about how to fight against non-existent threats. If you are worried about attacks from huge extinct reptiles, these erstwhile silly how to guides might come in handy!

How to Defend Yourself Against a Velociraptor

This article is designed to help people fight velociraptors.  Velociraptors have been fighting people since Jurassic Park came out in I think the 90's.

 Steps

1. Firstly, you need to be sure you're fighting a velociraptor. To identify a velociraptor try throwing a stick or something at it to see if it runs at you. If it's running really fast and screaming it's probably a velociraptor and now you are in some big danger.

2. Next, turn around and start running away from the velociraptor. It will catch you within seconds.

3. Now's your chance.  Try hitting it, probably in the face but maybe in the arms or tail.

4. Maybe also try calling the police but don't say you're fighting a velociraptor because they won't believe you, say you're fighting terrorism.

 Tips

* Try to avoid velociraptors and familiarity with pirates.

* Carry around a velociraptor mask so you can maybe trick an attacking velociraptor into thinking you're also a velociraptor, but this probably won't work actually.

 Warnings

* Velociraptors can run faster than most cars if there is traffic, and have very sharp teeth and claws as made known in Jurassic Park, when Sam Neil picks up that raptor claw and talks about slicing that little kid up into a mess of flesh confetti.

* The velociraptor has also been known to open doors and may have the ability to learn other simple tasks such as:

  Gardening

  Listening to Motorhead

 Things You'll Need

* 6 lbs.



http://www.wikihowl.com/defend-against-a-velociraptor.html

Here's my line by line analysis of this pop song.


The Man Who Can't be Moved by The Script


Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Obviously he is talking about a pop-corner... He's checking his popcorn(er) to see if his girl somehow got stuck inside of it.
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Hey, it's the winter, not worth freezing to death right?
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Oh I did that once, but on it I put "Free hugs". It was really weird, people kept hugging me. Wish I had pictures of that.
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am
While my pictures include Siamese cats and myself, he's a creeper who sits on popcorners and tells people to go find him.
Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
This is just stupid, now he's rejecting money. He obviously has some kind of mental issue, or he's just really, really weird. (makes dinosaur noises)I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I can't believe he brought his heart into the popcorner! I did that once, trust me, I never did it again.(it was broken)
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
This line is silly, I mean there are a hundred things he could do. Jumping open and down, writing free hugs on cardboard, stalking girls with a picture of them(as seems to be his habit). The possibilities are endless.
How can I move on when I've been in love with you
This is one dedicated dude, he really loves his popcorner.
'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
He's basically reprimanding his popcorner in this line. It forgot to say good morning, or didn't ask where he was going and he got offended. Jerkapotamous popcorner.
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
I didn't know that popcorners had hearts, but apparently they do. If you turn them on, you get lost in a flurry of radioactivity. I'm still dazed and confused from my last ride, I have a t-shirt to prove it.
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
Still hoping that his popcorner loves him. Nub.
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
He's waiting on the corner, therefore, the popcorner is taking so long he's went outside to jump rope while he waits.
So I'm not moving
He's not moving.
I'm not moving
He really wants his popcorn.
Policeman says son you can't stay here
The policeman wants some popcorn, and he's taking too long cooking his.
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
He's waiting, just waiting on the world to change.
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
I like my popcorn warm, but he's saying that he likes his cold and wet. Which is odd when you think about it.
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go
He once fell in love with another popcorner and is hoping that some day it will magically reappear. You think he would just go to a popcorner store and buy a new one of the same brand but W.e.
So I'm not moving
Dedicated.
I'm not moving
Popcorn.
I'm not moving
Lover.
I'm not moving
I WANT POPCORN NOW TOO.
People talk about the guy Who's waiting on a girl, oh whoa
He is clearly stating here that girls take longer at most things in life, including making popcorn!
There are no holes in his shoes But a big hole in his world
He's been standing so long in the sun that a window has refracted light and burned a hole through the map hanging on the wall.
Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
He's really irritated she's taking so long, and is wondering what the record is in the Guinness World Records book to see the longest time waited to eat popcorn.
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
He's gonna be famous!
And you'll come running to the corner
Everyone will want to try his popcorn.
'Cause you'll know it's just for you
^Self explanatory. Great sales line.
I'm the man who can't be moved
This man loves,
I'm the man who can't be moved

His POPCORN!




And that's it. I hope you enjoy my very liberal interpretation of this song.
Have a nice day(7 Ratscrew)
Soli Deo Gloria

Not to frighten any of you, I am not permanently leaving the internet, that would just be silly. However, I may be on not-at-all due to the fact I am going to a friends house for PSSA week and may not have a computer accessible constantly as I usually do. No really. I spend most of my days at school w/ computers or at home w/ computers so I can be on pretty much constantly. I have assignments that I need to do so I printed out everything I could, which should make it lotso' fun.

Wish me luck on forced sabbatical from computers.

...of media. Just today I deleted my Google buzz thanks to Nathan Lee for the inspiration. Basically, I'm just gonna copy what he said in this and this post. If you've already read those, you may not want to read my post, but hey you're on my blog so you might as well while you are here. Since I titled this post, "Defeating the Beast" I figure I'll start by giving you a little analogy based on Revelations. In the book of Revelations John witnesses a beast rise out of the sea with seven heads and ten horns. I would like to make Social Media the beast for today. Here are 7 things that can waste your time:
1. Facebook
Okay here I'm being judgmental because I've never had a Facebook, but based on what I know, it can only be worse than what I have. Unless you have time to waste, to quote How to Train Your Dragon, "Kill on first sight"
2. Google Buzz
Mmm, yup. Buzz is a killer, it updates you on your friends, events, and keeps you in touch with the world around. Reality check! It also wastes 20% of the time spent on your computer as long as Gmail is open. I know this from experience. Kill on first sight.
3. Twitter
Another one that I haven't done, by I guarantee you could waste time updating the world about how much you love Justin Bieber, not that I have anything against him. Kill on first sight.
4. Email
This one is a little trickier, email is important, you need it so that people can contact you about important things. Email is something that shouldn't really be used for chatting though, save your inbox for messages that are important.
5. Chat/IM/Skype
Whatever you call it, if you abuse it, it can hurt you. However, it is extremely useful for leaving your inbox open to more vital messages. You need to be careful though because chat really takes the willingness to tell someone, "I gtg, homework calls." If you aren't willing to tell someone you need to go, it will drag on forever. Use discretion, but it too is very useful.
6. Youtube(other video sites)
This may sound a little funny, but Youtube is another social media weapon that could leave on the ground bleeding. I know I personally have spent many an hour watching Julian Smith's videos. Yes, I just watched one of his videos. Before that I was catching up on the Tsunami Crisis in Japan, and if it means anything to them they are in my prayers.
7. Stumbleupon
This one was tricky, cause I have little experience with either Stumble or Flickr(which were the two I was debating). Stumbleupon is really, really cool, but not for those with no time. I would regard it as a place where you can spend free time, in the same way you would play video games, or do puzzles or whatever it is you do for fun.

Okay, so I listed 7 beasts, so what are the 10 horns? I'm not sure, but I thought of it as 10 people that you like to hear from a lot. You fill in the blank.

Great, I listed tons of sites for you to waste your time on, now you can totally disregard the meaning of the post. As you begin to, hopefully, see the problems with overusing social media, I would like to tell you why I personally turned off Buzz.
1. It was feeding my desire for self-glorification.
What I mean by this, is that when I use social media it can turn out to be in attempt to glorify myself, not God who deserves the glory. It was becoming to self-centered.
2. They don't make me smarter or happier
If you read Nathan's post, you'll know this is pretty much straight out of it. I am constantly filling my brain with information, and I need to filter that feed, so that I can truly process the things that I find important with intentionality. It can leave brain feeling a little cluttered if you're using all those social media applications.
3. Time Consuming Much?
I really need to focus on school work, and if on anything else, why not my 3 blogs that have been neglected(badly).

I hope that you have either been spared from the time consumption of SM or you are ready to cut back.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Glory to God Alone