A Few Brilliant Ideas...

I'm a junior. I'm not supposed to worrying about time yet...

...At least I thought I wasn't. The year is slowly drawing to an end, and as it does, thoughts begin to bubble to the front of my conscious like spastic chocolate chip cookies. What college am I going to? What should my career be? What's going to happen to all my friends? When am I going to get a wife?

Okay... So the last one is more like a benefit than a loss, but I feel like I'm slowly being squeezed to death by the pressure of surrounding life. I've never been claustrophobic, but this box around me that time is making is getting hotter by the second. It's times like these when I thank God for grace and the time that I do have left.

But at the same time... I'm excited. There's so much more that lies beyond highschool. So many beautiful promises that outweigh the craziness of the moment. Kerb, I'm looking forward to an eventual eternity. I gotta wade my way through a time of insanity, but it'll be well worth the wait... However, prayer and wisdom is appreciated in this time...

I guess what I'm getting at is that if you feel like me (and there's bound to be someone, it's a big world), and you feel a little crushed by the time constraints you feel are bearing down on your life, remind yourself that there's a whole lot to live for out there. Nostalgia is great for a time, but then we pick up we move on, and we look forward to a life worth living for God, amirite?

Let's do it together folks.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to reap that which is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to get and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

Prom, prom, prom. It seems to be bouncing around quite a bit: morning meeting, messages out the wazoo from my own father, and then girls urging me to go with other guys so that they'll know people there...
Well I got news for ya. I'm selfish!


I love to pull the moral card when it comes to dances, but I was honest with myself earlier today. I don't want to go mostly because I'm selfish.

The way I see it, going to dances is merely a way to cause me more pain by reminding me I don't have a girlfriend and that I'm not even close to being prepared for one.
Yeah, it would be fun. Yeah, I like to dance. But truly? It'd be more pain than it's worth.

So I'm sorry I'm not going to prom but please be kind. My guess is I'm not the only person who feels this way. No one wants to be alone, and if he/she's holding back for a few years because he/she's waiting for a time and a place where he/she can engage in a serious relationship, don't torture him/her.


1 Corinthians 8:13: "Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble."
(This is only the biggest reason, there are others as well...)

I had the most interesting dream this afternoon during my nap. It was in two parts... The first one I don't really remember very well, but I know that I had a quarter, and somehow made a dollar which I then lost altogether...

The second one went something like this. Someone else and I were riding on a motorcycle that I was driving. I was really bad at it. I kept trying to drive it like a car. My mind never really entirely understood that this was a motorcycle and therefore must be driven differently. So I'm driving along on a motorcycle with a passenger behind me. We're on our way to someone's house, for who knows why. Anyway, I continue to try to push the break pedal that doesn't exist because the front handle breaks do not function as they should. I somehow manage to not crash for a while until we hit a turn and I'm confused about where to go. I eventually pull off onto a median strip or something. Just then a whole bunch of police people ride past on the road on bicycles, apparently from training in the academy, as my accomplice told me. I remember hiding because I was pretty sure I'd get a ticket from them, but I didn't have any really good cover. They rode by though, and we continued on our way, at which point I remember that I was going to a concert... I get back out onto the highway and pull over and look around, only to see someone we know briefly, and I then follow the route that they are going. At this point my dream dissipates and my mind stops to decipher meaning that didn't exist in the dream... but apparently did... It went something like this...

"In the first dream you had a quarter that you risked and initially gained a dollar but you eventually lost it... In the next one you had a silver dollar, and once again you risked it, made more money and then eventually lost it... Choose the risks that are worth taking."

...And I was like, "Whoa! Since when did my subconscious brain get smarter than me?"

Sometimes I find language very simply... inadequate. I wish the heart could paint pictures, because if it could, they would be beautiful things. Frightening, dark, happy, joyful, depressing, angry images. But there is no doubt in my mind they would be beautiful. When you look around during your day, do you see beauty? Do you appreciate what you have been given? Are not the pictures of God beautiful?

I find myself in a time where God can appear distant... I, like Job, need search no further than my sight to find the steadfast love of God. Even when our lives seem empty of the work of God... When working toward the fruit of the spirit is more a chore than a joy... It is during these times that we truly appreciate what God has done for us.

In our weakness we realize just how strong he truly is.

Our hearts conform to thankfulness. We bow our heads and our hearts and worship.
"Be Still and Know I Am God."




It's good to be back.