I stirred a monster, I think to myself, as I type this words on my sleek black keyboard. I originally thought to put words on paper was nice, and something along the lines of, "Oh yes, I'll have to do it again soon." But here, instead, it has become an insatiable desire, consuming me. I cannot sleep for the words grow inside of me, demanding to be released. I guess they were always there, waiting; I just didn't notice until now. But here we are, and now I have destroyed the dam, let loose a flood of inspiration. There is more to be said than can be said, or will be said. An entire library of ideas that I "put on hold," waiting till it was a "better time," and they now possess me. I must speak. I must write. I must be heard... or perhaps not.

For it isn't whether you hear me that matters, because if that's the case, let's be honest, very few of you care enough to keep up with my writing and few take the time to read the sentiments of some nineteen year old, white, suburban kid. What could I possibly say that hasn't already been said? Even if you did read what I had to say, would you internalize it? Would it change you? Would it even make you think?

Laughter is cheap. Laughter is easy. If I demand more than that, would you meet me? Have you?

I'm not angry, I'm not even irritated because I am guilty of the same faults. I don't remember to listen to the people that will bend my world and make me better, make me think. I'm guilty. So are you, it's not worth lying, so don't. I may not be the person you're forgetting to listen to, but someone out there is, and if it's God, your problem runs deeper.

Yet, here I am with these words left in my hands.

Which leaves me with a question? Why the need to release all these pent up, congested words?
 The truth is I can't breath unless I do, and it has been a long time since I have had breath, let me tell you.

Silence is the easy route. Never spending time to record my thoughts and ideas and letting them slip away in a heartbeat, to join the graveyard of what once was wisdom.

However, that wisdom now roams like the dead arisen from their tombs, and I'm frightened by this prospect for wisdom is never easy to swallow.

But I will not take the easy route; God has never called me to the easy route. I have always been called to the road less traveled, and have been gifted to follow that road accordingly.

If you will read me, I will write. And if you do not wish to hear what I have to say, there's a beautiful "X" at the top your screen that will silence me, but I will be faithful to create. This is how I choose to reflect my designer.

I will not back down from faded lines drawn in the sand. I'm going to do my best to speak truth to you. Not everything I post on this blog will be this deeper level of understanding, but when things run deeper than the surface, I urge you to listen, and let your views be tested or changed.

With all the love of my heart,
Stevie

Soli Deo Gloria