Emotion is not captive to instruction,
don't pretend like
you
have any more control than I do.

Anger flares at abrasion,
frustration with lack of success,
sorrow with loss.
It amazes me
that you think love is any different.

Love is a choice.

Yes.

I agree,

but love is also a yearning.
We do not conjure
or decide
the yearnings of our hearts,
or our stomachs,
or our souls.

Has it been so long,
since new born love,
that you have forgotten its sweetness
and the impenetrable nature of its haze?

I'm not being stubborn.
It's called being faithful.

Forgive me if,
I decide that my emotions are

worth something.

That the way I feel is

valuable.

That my impressions of God's will do not

-align-

with yours.

My understanding is surely
fallible
but I am confident that my faithful behavior
will be rewarded
either through reprimand and correction from my savior
or through treasure, perhaps here,
but certainly in heaven.

I appreciate your concern with my
current affairs,
but what I need is support
for the things that God has called me to,
not leading questions and imposed distractions.

For as amusing as they are to you,
they only remind me of the dull ache,
in the bottom of my heart,
that reminds me, of this... this...
yearning.