A Few Brilliant Ideas...

I remember thinking, that it wasn't possible.
That it had to be someone else,
because the man I knew couldn't disappear like this.
I guess I was wrong.

That phone call with a broken friend on the other end,
left me in disarray until it hit me, a post-mortem punch to the gut.
Tears bled from my eyes, my stomach turned over inside of me.
I ached. I yelled. I weeped.

Sobbing remembrances of truth filling me,
overcome with the grief of it all,
holding fast to the only thing I knew to be true.
Jesus loves me, this I know.

My insides hemorrhaging, losing life fast.
Feeling my insides turn cold with broken loss.
Loss.
Cold, defiant, take no prisoner loss.

"Why? Why? Why?"
We've all asked that question, begging for answers we don't have,
and probably won't get.
Fact is, no answers are necessary.

Emptiness is fed by grief, and you need something else to fill the void
prevent emptiness from consuming the rest of you.
Everlasting, infinite, unending God,
perhaps, he would?

I remember my heaving chest coming to rest,
worn out, my eyes with no tears left to cry.
As I sat there with my hands before me:
willing my eyes to express the wrenching of my heart.

Instead, an ocean ran over my soul,
leaving me with a new taste in my mouth.
Not bitterness, fear, or emptiness.
Peace.

It stuck with me, it's still here.
A constant companion, a balm to my soul.
Reminding me of Jesus's love for me.
I can't explain it.

I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind but now I see.

So when I see that empty seat,
there is a feeling of absence,
and sorrow, weariness, toil,
but never turmoil.

I miss you.
I think I always will.
I will remember you for your love.
I will remember you for your heart.

I will miss you, and I will be at peace.

So, I failed the blog challenge, but I was not alone in this endeavor and where I failed, others succeeded. A congratulations to all those who persevered in their writing and content creation. I'm so proud of you guys. And to all my friends who persevered, even if only for a few days, thank you for your desire to create. I have been blessed, encouraged, excited, sorrowful, and laughing while reading your posts. I've gone back and read some of them more than once. God has and will continue to use your gifts. Keep on doin' what you're doin'. Don't let the absence of the Blog Challenge keep you from writing. I also wanted to point out of my friends who completed the equivalent of the Blog Challenge without even anyone knowing, Mr. Dan Lee. You can see his drawings for this month over on his Facebook page.

NOW. ON TO OUR VICTORS.

They stood in the square, laughing. The love park sign stood before them.

"Let's take a picture in front of the Love Park statue!" Reinaldo began to walk over toward the red letters, pulling out his phone.

"I've got this," Jeremy whipped out his phone.

"Oh this again, " Mary muttered, hunching her shoulders to keep the cold air out of her warm jacket. "I haven't seen you put that thing down since you got it."

"Well it IS a Nokia Lumia 1020," Jeremy's head had that upward tilt to it. Kara snorted, shoving Jeremy toward the sculpture.

"Come on doofus. Let's take pictures." The group huddled in front of the sculpture in the cold, still evening. Kara smiled, warmed by the freedom of spending time with her friends."I'm so glad I don't have school tomorrow." A light flashed and the group reeled back.

"What the heck. Come on Jeremy!" Reinaldo grabbed Jeremy, picking him up without notice. Jeremy yipped, legs flailing in the air. Kara and Mary laughed while Jeremy broke out of Reinaldo's grasp and tackled him. A grin flashed from Reinaldo while the two of them rolled around on the ground.

"Guys... Come on." Mary was shivering now. Kara walked over and hugged Mary, sharing her warmth.

"Look!" Reinaldo shouted from somewhere beneath Jeremy. "It's snowing!" Small flakes of snow had begun drifting down from the sky, landing gently on Kara's jacket.

"Unnghhh, not more snow," Mary's face scrunched up, as she attempted to retreat deeper into her heavy jacket.

"Come on Mary," Jeremy said, rolling off Reinaldo onto his feet. Before they knew it, he had his tongue out, running around in circles trying to catch the snowflakes.

"You look like a little kid," Mary noted, but she had started to smile again.

Jeremy paused and sauntered over, "Isn't it beautiful? I love it when fresh snow falls on the ground in a pure white. It's like the world is being born again, like we're being given a clean slate or something. And the way it sparkles when it catches the light. It's so pretty."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Kara said. "I mean, I think the cold is totally worth it if you get to see the snow." She held out her hand, catching the little presents from the sky in her hand.

"I don't really care," Reinaldo said. "It doesn't really matter to me."

"It wouldn't." Mary threw her hands up, "You're so warm blooded that you don't even notice, you lucky bum."

"Yeah, well you have other reasons for living in the city, I live here because I actually like it," Jeremy said, grinning.

"Yeah, like school. Speaking of which, I do have homework I need to do. Can we get on with taking these pictures? It's freezing out here." The group gathered around her, putting on their best smiles for the cellphone.

--------------------

Love Park - Philadelphia

When I started this blog challenge I had high hopes for writing lots of creative fiction. I really was looking forward into pouring myself into my writing, but as time went on, it never really happened. I was so excited to do that when I started. So what happened?

It's not like I don't want to do it. I do, just as much as I did then. Life just gets in the way. In the beginning I was going strong, but I started running out of stamina. Literally. I was up past midnight every night of that first week, writing, which was great in terms of creation, but took a toll on me during the day at work. I didn't want that to happen, so I started trying to write faster, earlier. This is great in theory, but it turned out that I ended up writing things that are a lot less complete. I wanted to create fiction, but my fiction takes time to cultivate and explore. This is something I'm not able to do in a blog format, sadly. I could write the entire story and post bit by bit, but at that point, you might as well post the entire thing.

So it is with a heavy heart I resign my desire to write piece-by-piece fiction via my blog. This is by no means a resignation of writing fiction. I will write fiction, but it has to be long term with a project style to it. I need to see the big picture before I post a piece. I can work on setting "scenes," emotions, settings, and feelings with my blog. This is something I've seen my friend Dara Hayes do over at Ink and Imagination, and something I feel might be beneficial to practice. If you haven't read her blog yet, do that. It'll inspire and captivate you.

Something you guys may or may not know is that I really want to write a fantasy novel. I've wanted to for years. I want to do this, but I always forget about it, or grow too discontent with what I've already written. I need you guys to hold me accountable to this vision and desire though. I'm not strong or focused enough to make it happen by myself. I need you all to come with me.

My fiction isn't dead, it's merely waiting for the right moment to awake,