Dear Diary...

Today I was glancing around on the internet and I realized something. People are edgin' up on my territory! "Following" is EVERYWHERE. I looked at Gmail Buzz and people have this many "followers". Youtube, "Followers". Even Neopets has "followers" for crying out loud. What is all this foolishness, I thought I was the stalker around here?!?! What is the world coming to that there are so many stalkers in my competition? Not only are they stalking my stalked, but they're stalking them oneverything, their blog, their youtube, their other blog. Next thing you know they'll be able to follow people's houses. That used to be impassable to everyone 'cept moi.
I can see it now.
"Hey George I just started following your house, sub for sub?"
"Sure Nick, I've always wanted to follow your house?"

Stalking has become commonplace and everyday. Where does that leave the hardcore stalkers like me? Technology is ruining all my systems of stalk-age. It's becoming increasingly hard to stalk solo. (I'm stalking solo, I'm stalking solo...)

I am quite peeved at this nonsense. Now they have BRANDS of stalkers like you're buying them at the store. In my mind the aisles look like this...

Aisle 1-Facebook Stalkers
Aisle 2-Youtube Stalkers
Aisle 3-Google Stalkers
Aisle 4-General Stalking merchandise
Aisle 5-Professional Stalkers
Aisle 6-Classic/Hardcore Stalkers

Stop tryin' to steal my stalk game. I want all the waffles.