How To Pretend Like You Know Pop Music

Do you have a trouble keeping up with the CONSTANT barrage of pop music? Are you not capable of spending every living moment listening to the latest and greatest.... or perhaps not so great?


Here's my secret to surviving in society in a world with 30+ pop hits coming out every day:

Listen to only the most irritating of pop songs, the ones that will drive people crazy.
What type of songs am I talking about?
I'm talking Rebecca Black legendary. I thought that song was dead, I hadn't heard about it for a while until I looked at one of my friend's status while typing the first sentence of this paragraph. It led me here.

Yeah, people are still complaining about/satirizing that stupid song. Yes, we all know it's idiotic, move on. The issue is that people don't really appear to be capable. Yesterday my DAD mocked Baby by Justin Bieber... So you want to be in the know about pop songs? You want to seem knowledgeable? Find the irritating ones and listen to them. May I suggest "Call Me Maybe" (you want to click that link, trust me) for today's audience? (Not that this song isn't well done, in fact I actually king of like... AGH IT HAS INFECTED ME.)

Warning: These types of songs are extremely catchy and will most likely get stuck in your head for hours on end.

The point is, people like to talk about things that bring them discontent even more than that which contents  them. Therefore, if you keep up with those songs that most people don't like, they'll most likely think you're up to date on all of music. Ironic right?

Congratulations, you are now a boss of pop music. Go listen to some terrible songs.

CONVERSATION

5 Tid-Bits:

Bee said...

HM. Well, I don't have to pretend like I know pop... 'cause I am one of those sad people who willingly listens to it entirely too much. Below are some facts that are really sad and pathetic when you analyze them. Then again, isn't however much you know about pop music (especially willingly) a little pathetic? Less sad is my infinite knowledge of Weezer, Evanescence, and Green Day... but I digress.


SCADS OF USELESS INFORMATION THAT TAKES UP MY BRAIN CELLS:



-I was the first of my friends who knew Call Me Maybe. And I'm friends with this girl Lauren, who is queen of trends. Translation: I heard it early. 'Nuff said.



-I was the first person I knew who heard Party Rock Anthem.



-Going way back to when I was in 6th or 7th grade, I was the first one who ever heard of a girl named Taylor Swift.



-Admittedly, I heard about Crank That Soulja Boy, Low, Friday, and Baby from other people. Oh, and Check it Out. My neighbors challenge me to stay up to date. :D



-Just yesterday I was listening to a cover of Baby by one of my favorite bands, Neon Trees.



-Earlier, while I was exercising, I was listening to Nicki Minaj's latest. And when I say latest, I mean NEW. Not like, what some people claim is new. A month since release onto the charts... NOT NEW.



-I was the first person to know about Neon Trees.



-I got on the Cake bandwagon early. Oh, and Streetlight Manifesto.



-I just recently got on the Florence and the Machine bandwagon, but admittedly I'm kind of late for that.



-I'm STILL one of the only people who appreciates A Fine Frenzy.



-When Sexy and I Know It came on at homecoming, I had already known it for months.


-When ANY song came on at the prom (well, except really old ones), I was the first person to identify it. Also, I had directed dances I had made up for many of these. (I think this may the be the saddest.)


-I predicted Lady Antebellum would become famous-- I started the bandwagon as far as people I know are concerned.


-By the time my friends were raving about OneDirection, You Don't Know You're Beautiful was OLD to me!


-When someone requests a song when I'm DJing... I've probably heard of it. And I know if I need to find a clean edit.


-All of my friends were like, "OMG! In that new Justin Bieber song, Boyfriend, he says 'I could be your Buzz Lightyear and fly across the globe!'" I already knew this. In fact, I knew pretty much all the words to that song. (Actually, that may be the saddest.)


-When Taylor Swift announced at a concert that there was this amazing band no one had heard of-- Better Than Ezra-- I'd already been listening to them for years!


-When those guys from Pennsylvania put that spoof of "California Gurls" on YouTube... my friends and I had been dancing around to our "Pennsylvania Gurls" spoof for months. We were like, "CRAP, why didn't we put that online sooner?"

---


Anyway, nice blog entry. I realized how much stuff in my brain is good only for parties. Parties with other people who have a lot of random pop culture in their brains.

BEE.

Davina Lee said...

I sense major "I-listened-to-[music artist]-way-before-they-were-popular" hipsterness in the comment above.
I am impressed.

My personal strategy for dealing with pop music is to avoid conversations about the newly popular stuff, but lurk with open eyes and ears on the interwebz and elsewhere until I gather a small sense for the most popular songs. It's worked fairly well so far. Most of my knowledge of melodies comes from covers; I rarely actually listen to the original song.

Bee said...

Haha, hi.

It gets worse... I find hipsters annoying. Nobody wants someone in their face saying "I HEARD OF THAT FIRST!"

But I am obviously guilty of doing just that. In the real world, I am a... dun dun dun... closet hipster! :O

^As for your approach to pop music: sounds sensible. Sounds like less brain crowding. *shakes hand*

By the way, I ended up here because I'm a friend of a friend of the author. And I suddenly feel really weird being here because it makes me feel slightly creepy. But some of these posts really are... brilliant ideas... so I kept reading and found I wanted to leave a comment or two. It is all quite interesting and readable.

BEE.

Stevie Parris said...

Well hullo there!
Thank you for the joy you brought me with your comments. I opened up my email to the responses and I got felt little bubble of amusement well up inside my chest as I looked at what I am referring to as "essays". Thank you for your compliments and thoughts, they are much appreciated. You seem like a fantastic individual, and I encourage you to continue reading. :D

You are Meghan, no? :)
Long live the hipster regime,
Stevie

Bee said...

Joy and bubbles of amusement? What is this madness!

I feel kind of crazy right now (well, more than usual) because I really thought my name was misspelled Megan on your post earlier. Thus, I complained about this to Benjamin and Timothy when I saw them earlier, as though a random stranger (who shouldn't have known my name in the first place) should also know how to spell it. "Am I just paranoid?/Or am I dumb?"

NO! Down with the hipsters! No... haha, just kidding.

Thank you for reading my essays. I actually don't expect people to actually read what I write. Except maybe my sixteen year old brother by semi-force. :D

So yes. I am Meghan. Cover=blown! I have heard about you because I know my talented bandmate I am very VERY blessed to work with has also played music with you. You can ask Benjamin for our YouTube. Or not.

At the risk of embarrassing Benjamin, now that we know HE told the random crazy person this was here,

BEE (or Meghan or Melany or whatever.)

P.S. I am so NOT a hipster, if anyone reading this ever sees me they'll realize that. I have no hip fashion sense. I'm just me.

But it was kind of cool to be mistaken for a hipster. ;)

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