A Few Brilliant Ideas...

I remember thinking, that it wasn't possible.
That it had to be someone else,
because the man I knew couldn't disappear like this.
I guess I was wrong.

That phone call with a broken friend on the other end,
left me in disarray until it hit me, a post-mortem punch to the gut.
Tears bled from my eyes, my stomach turned over inside of me.
I ached. I yelled. I weeped.

Sobbing remembrances of truth filling me,
overcome with the grief of it all,
holding fast to the only thing I knew to be true.
Jesus loves me, this I know.

My insides hemorrhaging, losing life fast.
Feeling my insides turn cold with broken loss.
Loss.
Cold, defiant, take no prisoner loss.

"Why? Why? Why?"
We've all asked that question, begging for answers we don't have,
and probably won't get.
Fact is, no answers are necessary.

Emptiness is fed by grief, and you need something else to fill the void
prevent emptiness from consuming the rest of you.
Everlasting, infinite, unending God,
perhaps, he would?

I remember my heaving chest coming to rest,
worn out, my eyes with no tears left to cry.
As I sat there with my hands before me:
willing my eyes to express the wrenching of my heart.

Instead, an ocean ran over my soul,
leaving me with a new taste in my mouth.
Not bitterness, fear, or emptiness.
Peace.

It stuck with me, it's still here.
A constant companion, a balm to my soul.
Reminding me of Jesus's love for me.
I can't explain it.

I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind but now I see.

So when I see that empty seat,
there is a feeling of absence,
and sorrow, weariness, toil,
but never turmoil.

I miss you.
I think I always will.
I will remember you for your love.
I will remember you for your heart.

I will miss you, and I will be at peace.

So, I failed the blog challenge, but I was not alone in this endeavor and where I failed, others succeeded. A congratulations to all those who persevered in their writing and content creation. I'm so proud of you guys. And to all my friends who persevered, even if only for a few days, thank you for your desire to create. I have been blessed, encouraged, excited, sorrowful, and laughing while reading your posts. I've gone back and read some of them more than once. God has and will continue to use your gifts. Keep on doin' what you're doin'. Don't let the absence of the Blog Challenge keep you from writing. I also wanted to point out of my friends who completed the equivalent of the Blog Challenge without even anyone knowing, Mr. Dan Lee. You can see his drawings for this month over on his Facebook page.

NOW. ON TO OUR VICTORS.

They stood in the square, laughing. The love park sign stood before them.

"Let's take a picture in front of the Love Park statue!" Reinaldo began to walk over toward the red letters, pulling out his phone.

"I've got this," Jeremy whipped out his phone.

"Oh this again, " Mary muttered, hunching her shoulders to keep the cold air out of her warm jacket. "I haven't seen you put that thing down since you got it."

"Well it IS a Nokia Lumia 1020," Jeremy's head had that upward tilt to it. Kara snorted, shoving Jeremy toward the sculpture.

"Come on doofus. Let's take pictures." The group huddled in front of the sculpture in the cold, still evening. Kara smiled, warmed by the freedom of spending time with her friends."I'm so glad I don't have school tomorrow." A light flashed and the group reeled back.

"What the heck. Come on Jeremy!" Reinaldo grabbed Jeremy, picking him up without notice. Jeremy yipped, legs flailing in the air. Kara and Mary laughed while Jeremy broke out of Reinaldo's grasp and tackled him. A grin flashed from Reinaldo while the two of them rolled around on the ground.

"Guys... Come on." Mary was shivering now. Kara walked over and hugged Mary, sharing her warmth.

"Look!" Reinaldo shouted from somewhere beneath Jeremy. "It's snowing!" Small flakes of snow had begun drifting down from the sky, landing gently on Kara's jacket.

"Unnghhh, not more snow," Mary's face scrunched up, as she attempted to retreat deeper into her heavy jacket.

"Come on Mary," Jeremy said, rolling off Reinaldo onto his feet. Before they knew it, he had his tongue out, running around in circles trying to catch the snowflakes.

"You look like a little kid," Mary noted, but she had started to smile again.

Jeremy paused and sauntered over, "Isn't it beautiful? I love it when fresh snow falls on the ground in a pure white. It's like the world is being born again, like we're being given a clean slate or something. And the way it sparkles when it catches the light. It's so pretty."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Kara said. "I mean, I think the cold is totally worth it if you get to see the snow." She held out her hand, catching the little presents from the sky in her hand.

"I don't really care," Reinaldo said. "It doesn't really matter to me."

"It wouldn't." Mary threw her hands up, "You're so warm blooded that you don't even notice, you lucky bum."

"Yeah, well you have other reasons for living in the city, I live here because I actually like it," Jeremy said, grinning.

"Yeah, like school. Speaking of which, I do have homework I need to do. Can we get on with taking these pictures? It's freezing out here." The group gathered around her, putting on their best smiles for the cellphone.

--------------------

Love Park - Philadelphia

When I started this blog challenge I had high hopes for writing lots of creative fiction. I really was looking forward into pouring myself into my writing, but as time went on, it never really happened. I was so excited to do that when I started. So what happened?

It's not like I don't want to do it. I do, just as much as I did then. Life just gets in the way. In the beginning I was going strong, but I started running out of stamina. Literally. I was up past midnight every night of that first week, writing, which was great in terms of creation, but took a toll on me during the day at work. I didn't want that to happen, so I started trying to write faster, earlier. This is great in theory, but it turned out that I ended up writing things that are a lot less complete. I wanted to create fiction, but my fiction takes time to cultivate and explore. This is something I'm not able to do in a blog format, sadly. I could write the entire story and post bit by bit, but at that point, you might as well post the entire thing.

So it is with a heavy heart I resign my desire to write piece-by-piece fiction via my blog. This is by no means a resignation of writing fiction. I will write fiction, but it has to be long term with a project style to it. I need to see the big picture before I post a piece. I can work on setting "scenes," emotions, settings, and feelings with my blog. This is something I've seen my friend Dara Hayes do over at Ink and Imagination, and something I feel might be beneficial to practice. If you haven't read her blog yet, do that. It'll inspire and captivate you.

Something you guys may or may not know is that I really want to write a fantasy novel. I've wanted to for years. I want to do this, but I always forget about it, or grow too discontent with what I've already written. I need you guys to hold me accountable to this vision and desire though. I'm not strong or focused enough to make it happen by myself. I need you all to come with me.

My fiction isn't dead, it's merely waiting for the right moment to awake,

I played it again. Why? Because it's so addictive. That adrenaline rush man. Enjoy? Or not, I guess. xD

I chopped this one up, so it's a bit shorter and has less rambling.

So I forgot to post yesterday, which is so depressing because I was literally part way through making another Slender reaction video when someone informed of the time, and I realized I was going to miss an Eagle Scout ceremony for one of my besties. Needless to say, I am disappointed by my failure. But really, I would have remembered after the ceremony if I hadn't then been persuaded to go watch the Oscars.

* raises fist to sky * Curse you Oscars and your glamorous celebrities!



In any case, unlike most people, it's not like just because I lost I'm going to stop posting or anything. That's no fun. I am not a quitter. Forgetful, distracted, busy, yes I am all of these things, but as the phrase goes around my household: "A Parris never quits!"

So I gotta say, the Oscars were quite enjoyable if you guys missed out. Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

Grand Budapest Hotel (apparently inappropriate movie) won approximately a million Oscars.

Neil Patrick Harris showed up in his underwear with uhh.... Yeah, we'll just leave that at that.

Lady Gaga kicked butt with her musical rendition of the songs from Mary Poppins. Her voice is gorgeous when she's not stuttering the word poker, and then Julie Andrews came on stage and warmed my heart. Because, she's Julie Andrews. <3 <3 <3

Whiplash one the next most amount of awards.

People that I don't really care about won the actresses and actors awards.

Birdman won best motion picture (the best award like ever or something).

Oh, and Neil + magic with a briefcase and OH MY GOODNESS JOHN TRAVOLTA TOUCHED IDINA MENZEL'S FACE SO MUCH. You'll just have to YouTube that one.

Pretty sure that I would feel slightly uncomfortable watch at least 70% of these movies. I somehow managed to retain a lot of this, evening though I spent half of it only half watching while playing Settlers of Catan. I lost at Settlers when Grant did a 5 point play and pretty much blew my mind. I don't even. Anyway, all and all not a bad night, minus my forgetfulness. Sorry guys. I letcha down. I'm a bad person; I'll still be here though. Writing about things. Or making videos. Or whatever. I'll be back tomorrow.

Until then,
Adieu 

A raindrop falls on an amorphous blob.

Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature. And that is because, in the last analysis, we ourselves are a part of the mystery that we are trying to solve. 

~ Max Planck 

There's something special about worship leading. Something where God gives you the grace of his Spirit and gives you a bigger heart for the people with you, for him. It's a unique experience one I haven't really found anywhere else, except perhaps in prayers of encouragement. It's not like you transform into this other super-godly-uber-being, but there is a sense of God moving through you. At least, there is for me. I don't think is true of every worship leader. It seems to me there is a sense of anointing over certain worship leaders. I have experienced this with people like Chris Tomlin at concerts as well. It wasn't the large crowds or the loud voices, but God was using him in a tangible way. All worship leaders go through dry periods, where they're left asking where God's spirit has gone. He's still there, it's just, we become so accustomed to his presence, that we forget he has a choice in the matter. It's not like he's left is entirely, for he dwells in the hearts of all those who trust in Jesus Christ, but he has removed the sense of wonder that he sometimes brings to the table that causes our hearts to gasp in awe. Or maybe it's just we're not listening properly. If I had to guess, I'd probably say it was the latter. But God uses worship leaders, no we don't physically bring people into God's presence, Jesus accomplished that task, but he does use us to remind people where they're standing. To help them listen for the word of God, the word of the Spirit, who is constantly whispering remembrances of God's faithfulness to his people. We are not indispensable, but we are useful and God has certainly used us well in generations past, today, and I'm sure will continue to do so into the future. We are after all, worship leaders. Which means we are truly seeking to be an example of what it looks like to bow down, and worship our savior.

"So. What's up?" Ryan held a steaming ceramic mug with a squirrel imprinted on it between his hands.

Lightning crackles through coils of hardened copper.
A squeak and sigh as they pull the stopper.
Green liquid flows between broken, battered lips,
the woman's hair falls as she bestows her kiss.

"Who ever said my kisses aren't magical!"
As her cackle grew heavy and dark and maniacal.
With a sweep of her arm, she throws up the lever,
causing tables to turn with the surge of the weather.

The clouds out the window were swirling so fast,
that beyond the cold chamber, wasn't heard the deep crack.

Of electricity building into a bright light
that would shatter the world in the dark of the night.

With a groan and a shift, the cadaver revived,
The eyes of the woman grew large, "It's alive!"

A woman sits by the grave and whispers quietly. She comes here often, to recount days past, discuss events of the present, and plan actions of the future.

Clenched between cold bones,
a decaying set of roses.
Petals worn by time, yet thorns still sharp.

Across his chest of faded blue,
with gold that would glint with the sunrise,
if the sunrise did indeed come.

Sometimes the earth quivers briefly,
and the petals believe just for a moment
that they heard a faint whisper groan from the mouth of their keeper.

But silence reigns over the grave
and so the man's body waits, expectantly.
The fruit of his life clasped between creaking bone.


She leans over beside the grave and whispers her traditional goodbye to her husband, kisses the gravestone, and rises walking away.

The stone will hold the words for him.

"Until we meet again, my love."

I went to a Valentine's Formal which was super fun. We had dancing and dinner up at the Sky View facility at Drexel. This is just one picture from the evening.

Gush gush gush.

Yayaya.

Gush gush gush.

Having just about gotten up to date with Castle, I was reading through my Facebook when I stumbled across one of my Facebook friends saying something about a show called "The Librarians." Needless to say, the title intrigued me, so I decided to look it up.

Turns out, this show is based on King Arthur/Merlin styled magic based on a group of magic users/librarians who call themselves guardians. It's super interesting conceptually, and I've just begun to dig into it.

It's super geeky and mystical and fun and I already love it. I mean, with this concept, it'd have to be pretty awful for me not to want to watch it. The lead character is a strong female, Emma Swan styled character that knows how to take charge. They call her Colonel apparently, which just evokes Star Trek feels all over the place.

If you really look
You'll see Stevie plus no time
equals poetry.

My life appears to be interesting enough that I can just blog about things that happened to me today. WOOO.


Every Wednesday night I got out to do evangelism on Drexel's campus with other people from DSC. Tonight we're looking for people hanging around outside. We spot a group and start heading over. As we're walking over to talk to a group of complete strangers, like we're never met them before, and we're going to ask them to talk to us about their religious beliefs. MEANWHILE my friend is breathing outward heavily. I look over at him and he says, "It's a habit, I make noises like wind."
"What."
"I make noises like wind."
Oh, I heard him the first time. I was just uhh.. What is going on right now. Then later, we're walking back to the dorm, and he starts mumbling "nom nom nom" out of nowhere. I don't even.

So after that I came back home to find Shark Tank on. New flash, my dad is obsessed with reality television. This confuses me, like a lot. I can barely stand reality television, meanwhile my dad is watching people buy homes in Alaska and stuff. I don't understand the appeal of reality TV. Like not even a little bit. I'd much rather watch something with a real plot. If I want to watch unscripted silliness, that's why youtube exists. I can kind of see the challenge ones, but like shopping and people just doing their jobs... Dunno, not that interesting to me.

IN OTHER NEWS:

JAMES KIRK IS NICHOLAS DEVEREAUX FROM PRINCESS DIARIES 2. I'm watching it right now and I'm freaking out, which would be hilarious for everyone else. I just... Chris Pine <3 Apparently it was one of his first roles, which just makes me any happier. He's so good as Kirk in Star Trek. seignewirgjewrgijwgoj.

Also, there's a pun at the end of the second movie right after Mia is named queen.

"And if I may just say Princess Mia, YOU RULE!"

BA DUMP PSHHHHH. I'm really just giddy on happy-endingness right now. That's pretty much all that's going on here. giiiiidddy. Alright, enough ranting we're clearly on day 11 of the blog challenge. Enjoy my life y'all.