Does anyone remember the 90's TV show Teletubbies? Probably wins my own personal award for the creepiest 90's TV show, which is quite an impressive feat, considering other shows like The Comfy Couch. Here are of the few things you've always known about Teletubbies but never said out loud:
1. Noo Noo is a serial killer
5. Dipsy has mad dance skills.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E9Z0-ppTl0#t=557
This is totally why he was always my favorite. GO DIPSY, SHAKE THAT THANG.
6. The practical ramifications of having a television in your stomach are completely ignored
These creatures have television inside of their stomachs. Why do they even move? I mean with Netflix, they would never even have to move, and if they get hungry, they can change the channel to the food channel. Problem solved. There are so many creative things you do with a television stomach.
7. The sun is a baby.
Why? No one knows. I just... someone had to be on drugs to even think of this.
8. The pinwheel drug dispenser
I have a theory that this pinwheel dispenses drugs to the inhabitants of this place, leading to hallucinations such a baby-faced suns and creepy vacuum cleaners. Then their antennas capture the drugs, which are then in turn converted into TV power.
9. The show's British accents make it worth watching
Let's be honest, we really only enjoyed this show because, British people. I mean really, how can you resist the silky narrator voice? Plus, the little British children. Ahhh.
10. NBC/Comcast is EVERYWHERE...
1. Noo Noo is a serial killer
I mean look at this thing. It's the creepiest creature I've ever seen. I'm pretty sure this is a Dalek version one. That eyebrow and the nose that sucks everything up... How did they even market a vacuum cleaner as a character? I mean if you really look at it, all they did was slap some eyes on the thing. Then again, how did Dr. Who manage make the Daleks a viable villain? The world may never know.
2. Big brother is everywhere
Teletubbies has a secret agenda to raise awareness as the government's monitoring of your movements. The teletubbies walk outside there home and the house/floating narrator immediately knows they left. That's tooootally not creepy.
3. The teletubbies have creepily soft voices
I feel like they're trying to caress my ears. * shudders *It also is spoken in the strangest English I have ever heard. That is NOT how kids talk, it sounds more like some weird broken English.
4. The voice actors loved this job
There's no way the voice actors didn't enjoy doing this. It's basically just a game of who can sound the stupidest. I could totally get hired for that job.
5. Dipsy has mad dance skills.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E9Z0-ppTl0#t=557
This is totally why he was always my favorite. GO DIPSY, SHAKE THAT THANG.
6. The practical ramifications of having a television in your stomach are completely ignored
These creatures have television inside of their stomachs. Why do they even move? I mean with Netflix, they would never even have to move, and if they get hungry, they can change the channel to the food channel. Problem solved. There are so many creative things you do with a television stomach.
7. The sun is a baby.
Why? No one knows. I just... someone had to be on drugs to even think of this.
8. The pinwheel drug dispenser
I have a theory that this pinwheel dispenses drugs to the inhabitants of this place, leading to hallucinations such a baby-faced suns and creepy vacuum cleaners. Then their antennas capture the drugs, which are then in turn converted into TV power.
9. The show's British accents make it worth watching
Let's be honest, we really only enjoyed this show because, British people. I mean really, how can you resist the silky narrator voice? Plus, the little British children. Ahhh.
10. NBC/Comcast is EVERYWHERE...
This is what their door looks like... Scary man. Speaking of Comcast, I should go to bed so I can get up and work there.... As soon as I finish up this job application as a voice actor for Teletubbies.
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