A Few Brilliant Ideas...: random

Showing posts with label random. Show all posts

Wednesday, was just like any other day. Happy, delightful, filled with Scholarly activity and preparation for watching the Psych premier. On the way to Scholars, I had a stray thought that I verbalized to my mother. "I wonder when my first accident will be." She reprimanded me for wishing for bad things to happen, which I quickly amended, "Not that I want to be in one."

Well... It didn't really matter whether I wanted to be in one I guess. That's life for ya.

Friday was a wonderful day... Well, everything except the car accident Two. Blocks. From. My. House.

I am depicted here, preparing for the drive.

Fiiiine. I'm not Chuck Norris, neither do I own a cobra. (sigh) >.<

I jumped in my old Honda and my mother climbed in then we shot off around the cul-de-sac. I made my way up the hill perpendicular to my street to this four way intersection at the top. Traffic was pretty busy, so I waited until I saw an opening, as someone was turning the opposite way, allowing me to get out into the intersection. So, I pulled into the right lane, then my mother said in a commanding tone, "Stop!" so... I stopped. When my mother tells you things, it's generally a good idea to listen, whether it's advice about: God, school, girls, food, or even music. Don't listen to her if she tries to tell you something about technology, it's a bad idea. You're liable end up like this fellow.

Anyway, she yelled, "Stop!" so I stopped. Good thing I did too. The car opposite me decided it was going to pull out and turn left. I stopped my car completely, but the guy driving somehow completely missed seeing me. In other words, he turned into my bumper and then proceeded to grind along the far front left edge without VEERING AWAY. Yeah. I was really confused by that. Apparently the loud GRINDING NOISE didn't alert him to my presence either.

"GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRINDIAHNDIUWHDIJOJWQEFO."

... "Squirrels these days."

After he had driven down the road a little ways, he finally seemed to realize that he had just had an accident and stopped. The dude that got out was Short and I mean shorter-than-Chamberlain short. Short. He probably couldn't see me because his seat wasn't high enough up. Boooosttteerr seaaaat. He admitted that it was all his fault to us and apologized. The dude was dressed well, and he had the unmistakable, overpowering sent of Axe. I just spent twenty minutes trying to find an actor that looks similar to him, but I give up. Someday... Someday I'll figure it out.

Anyway, the dude was pretty chill about it, so we exchanged info and then we went our separate ways. Thinking back, that guy could have killed us if my mother hadn't told me to stop, if I hadn't listened, if I pressed the break a second too late. It truly is God's protection that we are still alive. It reminds me, my life is a gift, day by day, and it is time for me to die, I must go with joy and happiness, ready to meet my savior. Lately, life has become too precious to me. I care too much about my time, my goals, my mine me myself. This leaves me with only one option as a response.

Thank you for waking me up God. He him his.

Mother told me so. Yup. Car driving is fun. HEEHEEHEE.

Whaaaattt?

'Twas a while ago that I began driving, but there was a particular day that the conversation turned particularly interesting.

I pull out of the Scholar's parking lot, deciding to turn left, because I could really go either way. I start to giggle giddily. "Oh yes, this is going to be a fun car-ride." I think and put my hand up on the wheel authoritatively. My mother asks me about my day, I run through the standard laundry-list activities of the day. "Welllll... There were announcements in the morning..." I pause and pull up slightly closer to the car's bumper in front of me than my other is comfortable with. My mom gives off her slight flutter of panic and then prompts me: "and?" I scratch my head, "Uhmmm... I don't really remember what they were. Let me think, something from AIC Council about... something." I squint to increase my mental perceptions... because that works in my world. "Oh yeah! There was some kind of announcement about the Turkey Trot or something." I glance down the road, my eyes fixed on the bumper of the car in front of me. I can already feel myself drifting into auto-pilot. "Okay, what else..." My mom walks me through my day till we're finished and the conversation drifts off toward other topics. We begin to discuss driving, and I still feel quite giddy. Somehow the topic of driving in wet weather comes up. "If you had made that turn in wet weather you'd have a hydroplaned." My mom tells me as I make a particularly precarious turn. "Hydroplane," I repeat, and chuckle. She keeps talking about the dangers of turns in wet weather and how someday I'm going... Then I lose track of what she's saying and start muttering "Hydroplane," to myself and chuckling repeatedly. It takes a little while for her to realize that I'm not listening and she says something like: "Well it's true." My response to this is to say "hydroplane!" louder and burst out laughing out of nowhere. Something about that word just tickles my fancy hamster. The whole ride is spent with me finding new words to mutter and laugh at. At some point I begin to wonder if it's safe for me to driving, but I instantly disregard my worries and chuckle some more. "I'll to write this in a blog post when I get home," I think.

And here we are. Hydroplaning. Teehee. If you ever meet me when I'm giddy, I urge you not to pass the chance because it is probably one of the most amusing times you'll ever have. I'll laugh at everything and anything and there's no stopping me. Chances are that I'll tell you I'm giddy, because I always know and enjoy every moment of it. If only I could be giddy on demand... This calls for investigation.

To give you another brief snapshot, imagine me in Grant's basement, half slid down a chair, drunkenly singing "BA-BA BLACK SHEEP!" at the top of my lungs at three in the morning.

</end blogpost>

Pianowizzy has officially lost the competition as I was actually able to get in contact with her. She was sick.

Which I don't see as a valid excuse. Type a word. Post. Sorry Meglo. Have fun in the blog-afterlife.

Now to the real post...

Hey ladies and gents! How was your Christmas? Mine was great, I got shot in the eye.

Yeah. I got shot in the eye with a nerf gun. Every year my family does a white elephant, and one of the gifts I contributed was a nerf gun. My nephew ended up getting it. Was it my nephew that shot me? Of course not! My older brother decided to go all Rambo on me. The eye shot was pretty epic.

I saw the dark streak come toward my eye. It went all slow-mo for both him and me. It was a lot like this.

Unfortunately, my eye doesn't bounce bullets like Superman. Superman is a jerk. Showoff. It's actually incredible that my brother even managed to shoot me in the eye. Lucky bullet-slinger. Revenge will come someday Leo, watch your back. O_O
Haha.
N-E-Ways.

Recently we've been having our bathroom demolished and consequently reconstructed with a hot tub and awesome stuff like that. We have a couple of guys doin' the job for us. They're both pretty cool dudes. Anyways, I imagined that they're nice because we chose them. Obviously they're gonna be amazing. However, I was quickly shown my falsehood. We went down to our local home depot, for like the 4th time that week to get supplies for the contractor peeps. We picked up a cart in the parking lot with a gimpy wheel and made our way in casually to the bang and clatter of the faulty cart. Smooth.

We walked over to get ourselves some "Hardybacker" (drywall stuffs) and there were two men just about to grab some of their own. So, prepared to wait patiently, we settled down to wait our turn. However, instead of taking it to their cart, they took it to ours. They then proceeded to ask us how many we needed and carried them all and set them on the truck-cart-randomthingwithwheels. We thanked them, and I must say, this made my perspective of contractors only rise from my previous positive attitude toward them. I was already like, "omGeee(osh), they are soo coolio."

We then bought our boards and walked out, again thanking them, when my dad realized that he had forgotten to get something and ran back into the Home Dee-pot. I nonchalantly pushed my very loud cart over towards the car and when I reached it, prepared to wait. I got bored after about 10 seconds, looked at the boards, the car, and the boards again. You know that's right.

"Challenge accepted."

I then popped the hatch and began to slide the board off the cart into the car, probably not the smartest idea because they were really heavy, in retrospect. At the time it seemed like a phenomenal idea. "Then my dad will think I'm a real man!" Yeah. Right. Anyway, I managed one in and was working on my second after removing the shopping cart so a car could get by when one of the guys who was just about to get into his car paused. He could have been watching me for quite a bit, it was probably amusing for him. The point being that he began to walk over: "Hey, you need some help with that?"
"Nah!" I grunted from under the board. "My dad's coming." Right on time, I looked over and saw my dad walking in the distance across the endless parking lot. "There he is," I said pointing.
The man got back into his car and drove away like he didn't have a care in the world while I struggled with the board. But it was okay. My heart was really happy. My thoughts were pretty much: I LOVE CONTRACTORS. Sheesh, I couldn't get this kind of service from people who worked at other places. Cough, Microsoft, cough. So yeah, basically I've decided that contractors are amazing and they should all be commended for extended levels of awesomeness, kindness, and relative swagger.

(I'm your #1 fans. All of them.)

50 Ways to Annoy Other People in an elevator

Courtesy of The Freeman Institute
"Dealing With People Who Drive You Crazy!"

1. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: 'Shut up, all of you just shut UP!'
4. Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: 'Got enough air in there?'
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: 'Noogie patrol coming!'
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!'
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: 'Oh, not now, motion sickness!'
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.

20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter 'gotta go, gotta go' then sigh and say 'oops!'
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing 'Mary had a little lamb' while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler 'Chutes away!' whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head' on the side.

(^lulz) Dr. Freeman's
Latest Book

27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce 'You're one of THEM!' and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say 'mmmm...tasty!'
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'is that your beeper?'
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say 'Ding!' at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say 'I wonder what all these do' and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: 'Wanna see wha in muh mouf?'
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: 'I must find a more suitable host body.'
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say 'I think it's getting larger.'
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler 'Bad Touch!'

(On a side note, I added tags to my posts! =D Go ahead and take a glance on the right ->)